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Dad: Who Do you like more, Mum or dad?
Son: Both
Dad: Okay, if I go to America and your mum goes to Paris, where will you go?
Son: Paris
Dad: That means you like your mum more?
Son: No, I like Paris
Dad: Okay, if I go to Paris and your mum goes to America, where will you go?
Son: America
Dad: (angry) why?!
Son: ‘cos I’ve been to Paris before

Bedroom mistakes

Ladies, be honest: when your s-èx life becomes a little humdrum, out comes the mental catalogue of all the ways your partner isn’t quite measuring up. Guys tend to get a bad rap when it comes to understanding women’s bodies and what turns them on, making them easy targets in the blame game when s-èxual satisfaction starts to wane. And sure, they make their fair share of bedroom errors. But as the saying goes, it takes two to tango. As it turns out, top s-èx and relationship experts say that women make plenty of s-èx mistakes of their own. S-èx Mistake #1: Not initiating s-èx with your partner Many women worry about ladylike behavior. They don’t want to appear pushy or come on too strong for fear of being labeled aggressive. According to s-èxperts, failing to initiate s-èx is one of the biggest mistakes women make. Most guys feel like they are always the initiator and that sets up disequilibrium on the passion scale in the relationship. Generally, men want to be pursued by their partners just as much as women do. Holding onto outdated ideas about s-èx roles also inhibits satisfaction with our s-èxual relationships. One of such outdated ideas is that women are less interested in s-èxual activity. In actual fact, there are women who are as interested in s-èx as men. Indeed, some women are more interested in s-èx than men. Show your interest by taking the first step from time to time. Your partner will likely appreciate it, and you may find a new level of satisfaction in taking responsibility for your s-èxual experience. S-èx Mistake #2: Worrying about what you look like Thinking about how you look during s-èx stops you from enjoying yourself and ruins your chances of achieving an orgasm. Don’t think about the fat on your belly or the makeup on your face. Concentrate on the pleasure of the act. You must give yourself permission to have an orgasm. Men want their wives to abandon themselves in s-èx play, and that’s not likely if a woman is anxious about her physical concerns. The truth of the matter, actually, is that men don’t notice half the things women obsess about! It’s amazing what men don’t notice if you’re enthusiastic, energetic, interested in them, and flexible minded. According to s-èxperts, there is an evolutionary explanation for the selective blindness men show to women’s physical flaws. For Darwinian reasons, men are (unconsciously, of course) looking for women who are able to bear healthy babies. Starting millions of years ago, men who attracted fertile women and had a lot of children lived on. Those who could not died out. Although maybe not as necessary today, primal survival mechanism lives on. Men are much more attracted to women who show signs of health and youth and fertility. Rather than worry about the shape of your waist and hips, worry about your energy level and enthusiasm and interest in him. S-èx Mistake #3: Assuming s-èx is casual for men S-èxperts believe we should all let go of oldfashioned notions, such as women are not s-èxual or that s-èx is just s-èx to men. For some men, s-èx is a very important act. Research supports the idea that both men and women find s-èxual intimacy in the context of a committed relationship to be more satisfying. Numerous research studies make it very clear that the people who have the best quality and most frequent s-èx are married couples. That says a lot about the inadequacies of ‘casual s-èx.’ In a study of university students engaging in one-night stands, the numbers show that men are just as serious about s-èx and relationships as women. In fact, more than 50% of women and 52% of men who went into a one-night stand, according to the researchers, reported that they did so hoping to create a longer relationship. Onethird of them actually did so. What’s the lesson? Never assume that a man is not romantic. According to s-èxperts, “Two huge mistakes that are commonly made are that women are not s-èxual and that men are not as romantic [as women].” S-èx Mistake #4: Believing he’s always up for s-èx Sure, most teenage boys are ready and willing to have s-èx just about any time you ask, but that’s not true for men. The pressures of everyday life — family, work, bills — can zap a man’s libido. This comes as a big surprise to many women, and often, men’s lack of interest in s-èx is something women take personally. “It comes as such a shock [to women] that they just don’t believe it,” a s-èxpert says about the reaction many women have when their partner says they aren’t in the mood for s-èx. “They know themselves that they are not always interested in s-èx but they still love the man. But when they discover he doesn’t want to have s-èx, they think, ‘he doesn’t love me.’ Ladies, that’s not true. He just doesn’t want to have s-èx.” S-èx Mistake #5: Not giving him guidance Talking very directly about s-èx, what we like and don’t like can make us feel uncomfortable, even with a partner we’ve been with for a long time and otherwise feel close to. But it’s the only way to achieve a satisfying s-èxual relationship. A woman must take responsibility for her s-èxual encounter. No man can bring a woman to orgasm if she doesn’t take responsibility for her s-èxual experience. Even the best lover can’t know what a woman needs if she does not let him know. The good news is that men very much want to please women. If women can tell them in a way that doesn’t kill their ego, they will appreciate it. S-èxperts advise women to sandwich what they don’t like in between five things they do, because he’s listening. “You may not find out until the next time you’re in bed with him. But men do listen, particularly if you’re quite clear about it.” S-èx Mistake #6: Getting upset when he suggests something new After a couple has been together for a while, it’s natural to want to spice things up with a little variety. Just because your man wants to try something new doesn’t mean he’s unhappy with you or your s-èx life. In short: Don’t take it personally. Still, it’s important that you tune into your comfort zone. Nobody should ever feel pressured to do something they don’t want to do in the personal and intimate area of s-èxuality. According to a s-èxpert, “If your man asks you about trying something that’s outside of your morals, make it clear that it’s off limits for you and explain why. Of course, do this in a loving way as best you can. If it is something that is not really a moral issue for you but you still don’t want to, again explain why. If it is simply a startling request and you’re initially uneasy about it, try not to overreact. Instead, let him know you need some time to think about it.”

Big Boys don’t cry

There are unspoken rules of conduct that men abide by.The summer of 2013 is gearing up to be an action movie junkies’ dream come true. With releases set from Hollywood heavy hitters like DeNiro, Smith, Hanks and Cruise, I have already prepared to beat the heat of summer in the movie theaters. As usual, I look forward to a couple of films that were adapted from the comics. Last year was the Dark Knight’s run, this year it’s none other than the man from Krypton, Kal-El. Most recognize him from his earth name, Clark Kent.I can’t tell you the times I wrapped a towel from my mother’s linen closet around my neck and ran off to simulate flying. Every boy has once dreamed of being faster than a speeding bullet and more powerful than a locomotive. But somewhere between adolescence and high school our once lofty dreams approach life from a safer perspective.There are unspoken rules of conduct that men abide by. See, the worst insult you could give a man is that he’s somehow acting less than what a ‘real’ man should. So we go through great lengths to ensure our manhood is not questioned. In this we often lose sight of transparency or being authentic. Instead we are working overtime to keep up a facade. This behavior is passed down time and time again. But as men, we can never grow pass what we refuse to confront. Here are a few ‘myths’ we carry as men of steel:Men don’t have feelings, therefore they cannot be hurt: This is a flat out lie. As I often say, we have the same feelings as women with a much different expression. Any guy who says a woman has never broken his heart or let him down needs to get his head examined. As men, we are occupational while women tend to be relational. So we find our identity in what we do, not who we know.Men just don’t like to talk: The truth is, we don’t like to talk at the exact moment women do, but we do talk. We speak about things that affect us or inspire us. If you ever want to see a guy really get chatty, tap into what he’s passionate about. That’s what matters most to men.Men avoid commitment at all costs: What connects us to our manhood is how well our families are taken care of. I don’t believe I have been more ashamed or disappointed in myself than when my finances fell too short to take care of my family. I felt less than a man. Often if we have a doubt about our ability to provide, we tend to shy away from that commitment.Men never get depressed: Absolutely we do! The difference is, early in boyhood we were told, big boys don’t cry. We took that mantra to heart. In fact, we added on that big boys don’t share their emotions. We took it as a sign of weakness. But anything without a pressure valve to give release will likely explode.I have always been fascinated with the story of Superman. Not just because of his incredible acts of heroics, but because the people closest to him never made the connection. Somehow he could come up missing, he could save their lives and spend time with them, and no one ever thought Clark was really Superman. I guess that’s appropriate. As men, we have lived the truth that it’s the other way around. Superman, was really Clark Kent all along.————————-Early L. Jackson is co-founder of New Direction Coaching Associates and author of “Groomed For Greatness: 31 Days To An Empowered Life”.

Facebook post from Nigerian Breaking News

Obasanjo had a killer
squad when he was
president — Former
associate
By DailyPost Staff on April
21, 2013
A former associate of ex-
President Olusegun
Obasanjo, Mr. Richard
Odusanya, on Saturday
alleged that the former
chairman of the ruling
Peoples Democratic Party’s
Board of Trustees was in
charge of a killer squad
that was formed under
the military regime of late
Gen. Sani Abacha.
Odusanya reportedly
worked behind the scenes
when Obasanjo was in
power.
In a live interview, with an
online news portal, Sahara
Reporters, Odusanya
alleged that the former
President lodged the killer
squad at a State Security
Service headquarters,
known as ‘Yellow House.’
He appeared on the
programme alongside Mr.
Segun Seriki, a PDP
member in Ogun State and
a member of the House of
Representatives in the
Third Republic, under the
Social Democratic Party.
According to Odusanya,
the squad was used for
political assassinations
and was responsible for
the unresolved killings of
politicians under
Obasanjo’s administration.
He further alleged that
Obasanjo knew about the
murder of the former
Minister of Justice and
Attorney-General of the
Federation, Chief Bola Ige,
and a South-South
politician, Chief Harry
Marshall.
Odusanya said, “I believe
that a killer squad created
during the Abacha regime
was kept by Obasanjo and
housed at SSS
headquarters, known as
Yellow House, and was
used for political
assassinations.”
Explaining Obasanjo’s
alleged link with Ige’s
death, Odusanya said, “The
night Chief Bola Ige was
assassinated, a top PDP
member confided in me
that Obasanjo told him
Bola Ige was down.”
Concerning the murder of
Marshall, he said, “I also
took a gift to Marshall and
he was assassinated just a
few weeks later.”
Odusanya also alleged
that the ex-president
benefitted from an
account with the defunct
Trans-International Bank
and that from the funds in
the account, Obasanjo,
asked him to deliver a
Peugeot 607 and the sum
of N500,000 to a woman
(name withheld).
When contacted for
Obasanjo’s comments, his
Chief of Staff, Mr. Victor
Durodola, said his boss
was not available to react
to the allegations.
He challenged those who
made the allegations to
come out with their
evidence.
Durodola said, “The former
president is not available.
Therefore, he is not in a
position to respond to the
allegations. However, my
personal comment is that
these are people who
indulge in blackmail.
“Why are they using
online television? They
should come to Channels,
AIT, or NTA; these are
television stations that are
known.
“Definitely, that is not
Obasanjo’s character they
are describing and
everybody knows that. Of
all the military rulers, the
issue of killer squad
cannot be attributed to
him. That was not his
style. He is not around
now but I doubt if he
would even give it any
attention whatsoever.
He stressed that the ex-
president could not have
been responsible for the
unresolved killings under
his administration.
He further argued that
Obasanjo had no reason to
be involved in Ige’s
assassination.
“We would like to see it
(the interview) but these
are issues you know
cannot be possible. The
killings were unresolved,
yes, but you know that
nobody could have
attributed that to him. He
would kill his minister for
what? So that he
(Obasanjo) could be
minister?” Durodola said.
Another Obasanjo aide,
Vitalis Ortese, told one of
our correspondents on the
telephone that the
allegation was a non-
issue.
He said, “I don’t know
them. Let them prove the
allegation. I don’t know
any Segun Seriki or
Richard Odusanya.”
Also reacting to the
allegations, Bola Ige’s
eldest child, Mrs. Funsho
Adegbola, told SUNDAY
PUNCH that her father’s
killers are still alive.
Adegbola, a lawyer, called
for the reopening of the
Bola Ige murder case.
She said, “I can’t put
anything past them. I
haven’t seen the
interview. I don’t know
the content of the report
but I can’t put anything
past them. I believe the
people who killed my
father – the foot soldiers
and the people who sent
them – are alive. They are
not people from Mars.
“A murder case can go on
for 30 years or more. If
there is political will and
the government wants to
show that people should
pay for their crimes, this
can be done. The family
can’t do anything about it
because it is the state
versus the suspects. The
family can’t sue; it is the
state that can take action.”
Ige, a Senior Advocate of
Nigeria, was shot dead in
his Ibadan home on
December 23, 2001.
Following a mass protest
over the killing, the
Federal Government had
deployed troops in the
South-Western state to
prevent a breakdown of
law and order.
While security agencies
had arrested some
suspects allegedly
involved in the murder,
including the then deputy
governor of Osun State –
Ige’s home state – Mr.
Iyiola Omisore, they were
however discharged and
acquitted.
Just like Ige, Marshall
Harry, who was the
National Coordinator,
South-South geopolitical
zone of the All Nigerian
Peoples Party Presidential
Campaign was murdered
by at his No,28 Karaye
Close, Garki II, Abuja
residence on March 5,
2003, barely a month to
the presidential election in
which Obasanjo was re-
elected.
The ANPP chieftain was
said to have been killed in
the presence of his
daughter and his niece,
Loliya Harry.
The only security guard in
the house, Mr. Polini Aniya,
said the assailants
numbering about five
forced their way into the
ANPP chieftain’s residence
around 3am.
The ANPP, and it
presidential candidate,
Gen. Muhammadu Buhari,
had insisted that agents of
the PDP and Federal
Government assassinated
Harry.
At Harry’s burial ceremony,
Buhari, alleged that in its
desperation to rig itself
into power, the PDP-
controlled Federal
Government bankrolled
assassins to eliminate
political opponents.
After the incident, the
police arrested four
suspects in connection
with the murder.
However, after seven
years in detention, the
accused standing trial for
the murder were
discharged and acquitted
by an Abuja High Court.
The court cited lack of
enough evidence to
sustain the charge against
them.
[Punch]

https://www.facebook.com/473531002679399/posts/571737002858798

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Naija will survive

Buhahahaha “@lamolzz: See naija police patrol van…smh @Gidi_Traffic http://lockerz.com/s/289766596″

https://twitter.com/oldsoja/status/324543606314659841

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This is inhuman

WELCOME TO LYNDRE247GISTS™

I found this heart breaking picture of this young girl murdered like she was nothing on net this morning.Seriously,i’ve not been myself since then.The details of where or how the victim was murdered havn’t been made known yet but I’ll try get every detailed information about the murder.

With the mind of a psychologist,I would say she was kidnapped,raped and intentionally tortured to death by maybe an enemy.It pains me most to know that the wicked barbarians who did this to are out there walking the streets freely.

May God have mercy!

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Amazing Fact

mazing facts!!!
1. 75% of women like giving and receiving oral sex.”
2. The average amount of time a woman can keep a secret is 47 hours and 15 minutes.”
3. If an average human scrotum were stretched until all its wrinkles were smoothed out, it could hold a basketball.”
4. Swallowing semen can reduce a woman’s risk of developing a dangerous pregnancy condition called “pre-eclampsia.””